The late afternoon light streamed through the large windows of the Starbucks. We had not spoken to each other in weeks. We were here to euthanize our relationship.
“How are you?” she asked. She smiled, paused, and then looked down at the table to break eye contact.
“I’m fine.”
I rotate the cup in my hand while it sits on the table. She and I both stare at my hands as the cup spins, silently, to my right.
“Where will you go?” she asks.
“North Carolina. I have some friends there.”
There. I’ve said it. No takebacks.
“What will you do there? Do you have a plan?”
If I were the sort of person who had a plan, I would not be in this Starbucks.
“I do. I will get a part time job somewhere, and work on my writing.”
She laughs. I notice the chip on her eye tooth.
“That’s cute,” she said. “Now I remember why we broke up.”
I feel that in the pit of my stomach, like an injection of ice.
No takebacks.
“I’ll be fine,” I said.
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We tend to think we’ll learn the most about ourselves by being with someone who understands us. But we might learn more from the one who does not understand us and tries to make sense of us in their own way.